I am my own dictator

I am my own dictator

I am my own dictator

I make my own rules

I torture myself

I torture myself

It’s not easy being hard for myself

I kill myself every day

Do this

Do that

Don’t

I may not

Don’t drink

Drink

Everything I do is wrong

I cry everyday

But I can’t

I miss my special person

She’s here

But unreachable

I torture myself

With my thoughts of despair and impossibilities

I can’t cry

I am dead

I am a zombie

I feel emotions

But they don’t reach me



I feel nothing

I am empty

Soulless

I can’t cry

I want to cry if I need to

I scream

I want to cry

©Jelle Schunselaar

03-05-2008